I chanced upon this video on Facebook over the weekend and it really resonated with me about everything that I’ve been going through- all the usual teenage coming of age struggles with inadequacy and insecurities. I’m so bummed cause I can’t seem to embed it here on my blog but click on the link. I promise that it will be worth your 10 minutes!
In the video, Nick Vujicic was talking about how we all put our hopes in different things and always wish for our circumstances to be different, which is so true. It’s a paradox how we have so much yet we are never content and yet the people who have so little are far happier than many of us. I’m guilty of not being thankful and content with what I have because I always want more – a new dress, a new pair of shoes, etc. And in reality, all these are frivolous things. Nobody will remember you for the clothes or the things that you have after you die right?
When I went to Pekanbaru for a mission trip two years back, I saw how the kids don’t have all the things I had growing up, yet they were still truly happy and contented. They didn’t ask for more but were thankful for what they had. Despite having to bathe in collected rain water (that smelt like ammonia), without a heater, without the comforts that we are so familiar with, I was really truly happy and blessed there. I realized then, that you don’t need to have plenty to be happy.
I’m very thankful for good friends that I can have honest conversations with and one recurring topic is the topic of insecurity – how it’s so difficult to feel like we look good enough (and my friends are beautiful). Even the girls that I think are very very very super pretty all struggle with that. It’s tough, it’s really tough to look in the mirror every day and be ok when there’s a new pimple that popped up over night or when you want your eyes to be bigger, thighs to be thinner. I’m not there yet, I still have the hatin’-on-the-body thoughts but this is something I hold on to, every day “you are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). I think it’s so silly this fixation with beauty and brawn (although I too get caught up with it)- do the size of your biceps and size of your hips really matter? At the end of the day when we are 60/70/80 (pray, if we do live that long), won’t we all just be old and saggy together? (Hahah sorry this is not very tactful, don’t get me wrong, I think old people are v v cute hahah but you get my point right) And this is something that my friends in school and I try to be accountable to each other for, by reminding each other when we meet or over whatsapp that God looks at our hearts and that’s most important.
We can look to the things that we have, we can look to our looks and everything else that is superficial and ephemeral for affirmation but I don’t think that these things will give true contentment and happiness. We can pride ourselves in looks, grades, achievements and everything else but in light of eternity, these things all don’t matter, do they?
Nick Vujicic says it best:
“You wanna know why I am happy and content and full of joy? Is knowing that no matter what five cards come up in my life, as long as that fifth choice is understanding by faith that my heavenly father owns all the chips in the poker game so no matter what we have, we are playing with God’s chips.“
I definitely am not at that stage of contentment right now; I’m far from it. But I know that what he says is true – that ultimately, God is in control. I’ve seen it for myself – in the way I cried every day 2 weeks before IB exams and looking back, I don’t know how I managed to study but I know God saw me through and blessed me with the grades He gave me. Maybe this is why I am so zen now that Finals are in… a few days time (OH GOSH HAHA) but I just know somehow that as long as I do my best it is enough and I can strive for what I want but it’s the Big Man up there who calls the shots :>
“Stop looking everywhere and just look up.“
Here’s sending some good vibes and lovin’, may the week ahead be amazing! x