last

Meredith: Hey.
Derek: Hey. You almost died today.
Meredith: Yeah, I almost died today.
Meredith: I can’t, I can’t remember our last kiss. All I could think about was, “I’m going to die today and I can’t remember our last kiss,” which is pathetic. But the last time we were together and happy, I… want to be able remember that, and I can’t Derek. I can’t remember.
Derek: I’m glad you didn’t die today.
Derek: It was a Thursday morning, you were wearing that ratty little “Dartmouth” T-shirt you look so good in, the one with the hole in the back of the neck. You’d just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of… flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were going to see me later, and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick. Kind of like a habit. You know, like we’d do it everyday for the rest of our lives. And you went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed.
Meredith: Lavender. My hair smelled like lavender… from my conditioner.
Derek: Lavender. Huh.

I remember bawling my eyes out watching this episode of Greys. Not just because of this scene but because the whole episode (Season 2 Episode 17) was so emotionally draining and when this scene started, BAM, the waterworks wouldn’t stop.

It made me think of the last time that I met some people. It makes me cringe to think that for some, the last time I saw them was when I was at my worst. I definitely did not think that it would be the last time we would be meeting cause if I did, I would have not drank that last shot or that flaming. Plus I’d have taken photos so I’d at least have a photo to remember you by. It’s sad because sometimes you really cannot control who disappears from your life and who stays. But I’m thankful because recently I met up with a friend that I met at the Ben and Jerry’s interview last summer. And I guess life works in strange ways, people come and go, and if you are lucky some might come back again.

Greys always makes me very contemplative. It constantly reminds me of how precious the people around me are – not just in the dating context but really everyone, the people that really matter and the people that I might have taken for granted as constants in my life.

“Do you know, I can’t remember the last time we kissed? ‘Cause you never think the last time’s going to be the last time – you think there will be more. You think you have forever, but you don’t.”

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