the greatest of these is love

Equity mid terms are finally over. The paper was so bad that it’s funny but I am just super thankful that it is over and I can breathe just for a little bit. It’s already Week 8, which means exams are coming soon and things are just going to get crazier from here. Also, LT dropped a bombshell with the announcement that there was an LCS assignment due next Monday S O B Z. But before that, I’m just going to chill for the the rest of tonight.

I’ve been so lost for equity this semester and I definitely paid the price for looking at recipes and countless articles on Buzzfeed during seminars because I spent the past week trying to catch up but still felt horribly lost, even right before the paper. In fact, it was the same feeling that I had before the company paper, which definitely did not bode too well.

I still remember how I was just feeling so insecure about my knowledge (or the lack thereof) before the equity paper and there was just this sinking feeling in my gut. True enough, when I saw the paper, the first thing that came to mind was a song. Think I Wanna Die, by Somebody Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin. I’m not even kidding, the first four words of the song came to mind, which is basically “Think I wanna die” and the rest of the song is irrelevant to how I felt about the company law paper because it just went on in my head on repeat. But this time, thank God that the song did not come to mind at all. It was bad, I was rather at peace. I tried my best to be collected and calm even in the midst of seeing the people next to me scribbling furiously through my peripheral vision, whilst I was still flipping through my notes trying to find the right principle to start off my essay.

I’m grateful for the people who have showed me love – on Insta, through wishing me all the best via texts/ snapchats/twitter, Y2 prayer group that prayed for the people taking the paper. And even though I reached past the prayer time, there were still people there and XYZ prayed for me and I thank God for her 🙂 And of course the other girls who were there too. My dad sent me to school today too and for that I am very grateful (he usually tells me to be independent and take the bus) – he made sure he bought lunch for me before we left the house and I’d wanted to get a can of coffee to recharge on the way so he made a stop at the petrol kiosk too. I am just so thankful for all these little acts of love and kindness from the people around me :””) I went to Niks after the paper (I will do a post about it later tonight!!) and it was peak hour when I was going home but I managed to get a seat on the train home. Little things like that really make my day 🙂

To be honest the past few week leading up to this paper today has been nothing short of tiring. Seniors have told me before that Year 2 Sem 2 is one of the toughest years in law school and I never really understood it until in the midst of preparing of this paper. The week before was spent working on public law essay, with a relatively sleepless night from Sunday leading up to the deadline on Monday. Took a break on Monday night and then rushed to study for this paper and it ended up being another sleepless night – only managed to catch 3 hours of sleep from 6-9 and then it was a revision time again. I was really so sick of studying yesterday. But I really thank God for the people around me who have been so encouraging and it is nice to know that I am not in this alone 🙂

Also, with the MH370 incident and with the recent visit to Little India as part of Migrant Workers Awareness Week, I’ve realized how frivolous such school/exams-related-stress-and-troubles actually are. And that there really is so much more than just this.

I’ve summarized my reflections about the visit on Instagram, so I will not really belabor the point.

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But since my reflection got cut off and I don’t quite know how to take a screenshot and include it in, I shall continue from where I left off (just a little bit). “It was sobering to realise that we are where we are only by grace and thus we should always, always extend kindness and love. Featured are the QT men who asked Peks which of them was more handsome haha.#popzpeksince93” And it is true. I’ve always thought about it – that if I were born say in other parts of Asia and not in Singapore, I really might not be who I am today. I realized that these men who come and serve as construction workers, jobs that we often look down upon, come simply because they thought that Singapore would offer them more opportunities at success. They are people that are educated, some even with degrees and it was heartbreaking to hear how they themselves were shocked at the task that they had to do. When he shared that he felt humiliated that for his first meal in Singapore, he had to eat out of wax paper, my heart really went out to him.

For someone that absolutely loves to travel, I have always had this irrational fear of dying on a plane. Every time before I fly, I always made sure to tell the people I love that I love them and to make sure that I have no unfinished business. (T would know because he used to laugh at it saying that such fears are ‘silly’). But with everything that happened to MH370, it really scares me. 3 days on and what happened to MH370 is still a mystery, the plane is still somewhere out there, still yet to be located and the status of all the 239 people on board are unknown. I cannot imagine how anxious the family members of those on board are feeling right now but all my love and prayers go out to them x

And with all these tragic incidents that bring sobering realizations that life is ridiculously short and precious, may we always, always love and be kind :>

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