I’ve been meaning to write but I’ve also been sorely lacking inspiration. It is week 13, I think? I have since lost count but I know that exams are in less than 2 weeks time. Life recently has evolved around school, assignments, readings, school. (Plus fun, which was good while it lasted. thnksfrthmmrs?) Last week was probably one of the most tiring weeks of the semester, with 2 assignments due + being on call and having to do a presentation for those assignments, all in the same week. That basically translated into clocking many hours in school the past few weeks.
I’ve been up till 3/4 am the past few nights, not doing anything in particular since my brain is unable to absorb anymore Evidence/ Aviation/ PIL, so I’ve spent quite a significant amount of time contemplating life. A few weeks back, I was celebrating life and Oktoberfest with a friend over beer, sausages and a lot of laughter. Then he suddenly asked me “Are you happy, do you think you are happy with your life?” And I was stunned for a while. So all I could do was to say that at that very moment, I was happy while gesturing sheepishly to my food, the beautiful cafe and the company. But in all honesty, there have been so many concerns lately, especially with the future being so uncertain – with TC applications due, friends receiving TC offers already etc. And then there are also frivolous issues that take up so much time and attention. You know how sometimes you just have a gut feeling about something and as much as you wish your gut was wrong, you know that the very thing you wish isn’t true, is in fact true (and that probably is the worst feeling).
But after some relatively good news this morning + a good dinner with the Bebes, instead of fearing the uncertainty of the future, I’ve become strangely excited about what it is going to hold. I can’t say that right now my life is all sunshine, rainbows and butterflies; but I know that the unhappiness doesn’t last. This has held true in the past few weeks because for every moment that I’ve felt bothered by certain circumstances, there will always be lovely people that bring me joy, even if in the smallest of ways. Thank you friends, you are all truly wonderful human beings, ILYVM x