I’ve been having a streak of bad days the past few days and even week maybe, so I guess that culminated in feeling defeated today after certain things happened. So there I was sitting at ICA, on the phone with my dad who called to check and see how I was holding up, trying my hardest not to cry. I went home and slept it off, ate my feelings and now I am feeling better but w o w, December please be kind. Also, PIL paper please be merciful because try as I might, my studying has been going nowhere. As of now, it’s less than 2 days till the end of exams and about 20 days before I get out of Singapore. I can reaaaaaaaally do with a break.
Also, this song has been popping up on my FB newsfeed and it was one of the worship songs at the last CF session. Close friends would know that I’ve been going through a quarter-life existential crisis – lol so melodramatic, but basically I’ve been questioning my faith and what I truly believe in. (Disclaimer/ one-line summary: I still believe in God. I know that God is real. It’s just that the head to heart disconnect seems to be getting too hard to bridge these days) So anyway, I decided to listen to this song and I felt better. I didn’t feel close to God or assured that everything would be ok, but I did feel a little less unrested. Right now, I can’t say that it is well or that it is ok because I don’t feel okay but I know that things will be, eventually. A very wise person once told me, “you can’t live by feelings, but you can live on the Truth.”
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can’t see
And this mountain that’s in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea